Mahzoumy

After it happens to you again & again & again, you get used to it. Your heart sinks and you say goodbye on the phone in that small voice when they say they don’t want to talk to you, when something bad happens and they don’t let you make them feel better. You always used to call back just to try once more, even though they were so adamant. You thought maybe they’d melt for your voice,but now you know better, you know they will only going to hurt more if you called back and it would end in screams & tears. Tomorrow will be a new day. A day of apologies and making up,sweet words and silky voices. Tears will be left behind and butterflies will be back.Both of you will smile and drown in the moonlight of love and the hospitality will be forgotten. But don’t you forget that it’s bound to happen again.Remember that after it happens to you about fifty times.You get used to it.You don’t call back. You just DON’T.

If you’re reading this, if there’s air in your lungs on this December day,then there’s still hope for you. Your story is still going and maybe some things are true for all of us.Perhaps we all relate to pain, perhaps we all relate to fear and loss.And perhaps we all deserve to be honest, we all deserve whatever help we need.Our stories are all heavy and light
beautiful and difficult,hopeful and uncertain but our stories aren’t finished yet.There is still time to be surprised, we’re still going You & I,we are stories still going that others will tell about One day.So don’t think one mistake or one one failure means it’s about to End or Change,NO.We still have a long way to go and stories to tell before anything happens.

I’m so happy you get up today,Even if it took you 30minutes to convince yourself to,even if you didn’t want to at all.I’m so proud of you ♡ .You’re facing life today and even if it’s another day of the same routine, going to school,going to work or simply staying home,you’re breathing and your heart is beating for another day.You can get through today, you’ve come this far so don’t give up now.Maybe it won’t get easier in a week or months or years,but one day you’ll know why you stayed.☺

You thought you couldn’t like without them. But the day came and your heart went into pieces.Maybe in silence, maybe with a whisper or the wail of storm crushing your ribs and veins.There you were,there you lay.They sure did leave some wounds in you, didn’t they ? Let me see,Oh.That’s quite different now. Tell me, aren’t you alive? The scars are still there, nothing to fear, no shame to be found in them.But look beneath.Watch what you did below. You filled the emptiness that they left and what you poured in was yourself.YOU.Your mind ,heart and the ever-growing swell of your soul that you thought wouldn’t ever recover.You’re surely not smooth, I can tell.Don’t have a flawless or boring,dull evenness characteristicing your presence.Whispers in your ears, ” So full of themselves that one over there “ the world says when they look at you, yes You.
Nothing in this universe is better to fill your existence with than yourself ♡Self love♡

Yes you’ve been hurt before ,it happens to us all but don’t lock that beautiful heart away from loving again.The person who broke your trust and cut you deep with betrayal did not know your worth,they didn’t know the depth your soul can reach.You’re an incredible being, don’t let that one person who ruined you that time ago stop you from seeing that person who wants to love you, who’s right in front of you. 
Yes…I know it hurts to have your trust betrayed but I promise you,it hurts even more to hold on to that dissapointment of whatever happened to you.

Always remember that no matter how good you are to someone no matter all the love and unconditional devotion you can show.No matter how many sacrifices and hours you can spend on someone. No matter how good you are,no matter what you give that person, you can be taken for granted at anytime any day and the person you love so much has the power to do that. You might notice the love you’ll feel will cloud your judgement to say ” No one is perfect ” Always remember that you can be taken for granted and it’s not your fault or loss.It’s just something that happens.Some people weren’t simply made to embrace love so deep that they can overlook what you put on the table. 
It hurts YES, I know….but what can you do ?
 

Meeting “these” people feels like payback for past karmic behaviours.Although we end up broken and shattered, we grow into strong and decisive individual.

The people who break us are the very ones you make us grow.Thanks to them we hit rock bottom and at the same time reach our highest level.

I am thankful for every person I met for I know there’s little part of me that’s inspired by them.I am the result of what others did to me, and for me.

Embrace every friendship, every relationship, every meeting,let’s even embrace the faces we meet on the streets, in bus stations,the stories we hear from the people we encounter for only a few minutes. They’re all part of our growth.

Never stop meeting. Never stop growing.

That being said, becoming a better person and working on yourself is a long and never -ending process.

​Eight things to remember when everything goes wrong.

Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.  Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it most:

💢1.  Pain is part of growing.

Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward.  And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to.  When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose.  

💢2.  Everything in life is temporary.

After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever.  It won’t.  Nothing lasts forever. So if things are good right now, enjoy it.  It won’t last forever.  If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either.  

💢3.  Worrying and complaining changes nothing.

Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.  It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.  

💢4.  Your scars are symbols of your strength.

Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with.  A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed.  It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. 

💢5.  Every little struggle is a step forward.

In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it.  So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way.  Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. 

💢6.  Other people’s negativity is not your problem.

Be positive when negativity surrounds you.  Smile when others try to bring you down.  It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus.  When other people treat you poorly, keep being you.  Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.

💢 7.  What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.

You can’t force things to happen.  You can only drive yourself crazy trying.  At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE. In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience.  It’s a long-term journey.  

💢 8.  The best thing you can do is to keep going.

Don’t be afraid to get back up.  Don’t be afraid to love again.  Don’t let the cracks in your heart turn to hardened scar tissue.  Find the strength to laugh every day.  Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful.  Find it in your heart to make others smile too.

• God bless you all!

Have a blessed week ahead.

I never wanted to write about it.I wanted to say it ….to you.But you always hated the truth.Yet you told me to write about it,So I wrote it as fiction,to make you happy.Instead it made you cry like a baby…like I did a thousand times into a pillow made from a nightmare that was my reality.

Just because we don’t talk anymore doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.Perhaps I’m just trying to keep my worst only to myself,but sometimes I just can’t handle it that it aches my heart.You didn’t replace me,neither did you leave me behind,but perhaps I’m the one who keeps laughing at the old jokes still.Perhaps I’m the one who still goes to the same place we used to go together,or the places we wanted to visit and maybe I’m the only one who still goes to do the stuff we used to do when we were together,only when we were.Maybe I’m the one who still looks through the pictures and think of them like it’s your face and smile,and maybe you wanted me to remember you just so i couldn’t forget the big part of yours.Bad to know.

Tonight I’ll write about you, I’ll write about how you knew what could hurt me the most  and you did it perfectly, I’ll write about how you made promises not to hurt me in a certain way and you’re the one who ended up doing it,I’ll write about how terrible you made me feel about everything till I hated it,I’ll write about the sleepless nights, I’ll write about the tears,I’ll write about the heartbreak, I’ll write about the broken promises, I’ll write about your lies,I’ll write about your fake apologies,I’ll write about how you left me blaming myself for something I did not do,and I’ll also write about my stupidity believing you,believing you really loved me,accepting your apologies, I’ll write about how much you made me love you.

I can’t even express what you made me feel,at first it was like magic, nothing was wrong,everything was perfect….Then you started fucking up,you apologized….You messed up and again you apologized,then you started fucking everything up without even apologizing….I was so dumb thinking you actually cared,I blamed you. .You apologized,and I was so stupid thinking you’ve changed.You broke me into pieces,Why ? 

Why can’t my heart afford the idea that you’re not meant to be with me?  

Why does not the image I once thought it’s you fade away? 
 
Why do I keep imagining  a personality you are not?  

You said you wouldn’t hurt me,but you did.I’m sorry.I’m sorry because i’ve made you a big part of my life.I’m sorry because I’m the one who fought and I was overwhelmed that you’d want me to win.I hate how much I love you.

It’s a fuckin hard night on me.I need you so much.I want to hear your voice so bad that I keep wondering why can’t I see your name popping up on my phone.I wonder what makes it sound this stupid because I want you to be there.I want you to tell me all about your day and how did it go,I want you to ask me and make sure that I’m okay,because if I’m not I know that you’ll make me.I want you so bad, I miss you so much and I hate writing.

I wish we were still close so in the middle of my lonely nights I could call you and know that you’ll be there.I wish I told you how loving you made my heart ache when i realized you weren’t the one for me.And on nights like these, I miss your voice.I miss knowing that at 2AM you’d call to wake me up and hear my voice.I wish you were still crazy about me as much as I was crazy about you. 

I wish we were still close so I’d hold you so tight that my broken pieces will not fall again.I wish we were still close so I’d go through the worst days and know that you’ll make everything better.I wish we were still close so I’d know that you’re always there for me and whenever i need you,you’ll be there to listen.I wish we were still close so I’d say I’m okay while I’m not actually lying about it.I wish we were still close because on nights like this,I regret every time I was close to giving up on you and I.

I miss you when I wake up in early morning.I miss you when I’m having breakfast and we’re not talking. I miss you when my coffee turns cold and it’s when am busy writing about you.But still i can’t understand it,I don’t understand why you don’t believe me when I say that I’m hurt missing you.

I miss you on a busy Monday when i have school.I miss you when I’m walking and i suddenly come across someone who looks just like you.

I miss you when I’m holding my phone and I go through your pictures.I miss you when they ask me about you and it breaks my heart when I say ” We used to close ” 

I miss you.

It all ended.

Everything has just come to an end.I wish I won’t fall apart like this.I wish I could pick myself up together,and I’m sorry.I’m so sorry things  didn’t work out like you wanted.

I loved you ,I swear I loved you and I’d have done everything for you.

I gave you more than you needed because that’s all what I thought you deserve and I still write about you.I still write how good you used to make me feel and how perfect we used to be when we were together.

Only God knows how much I need you to be here again.God knows that I’m suffering, because maybe I’m tired.Maybe I’m tired of these days that I know grief as soon as I wake Up and there’s nothing but heaviness on my soul.You know,I try to smile and be there for people, yet I’m the weakest person alive. …That sometimes I wish I was stronger than this.

If you are a kindled spirit then you up for a little adventure in your life right? The Buzz kill is always money and resources I mean we all have this notion that for you to have adventure you must be a rich guy or a super model who has no work that ties you […]

via Adventure — Diary of an activist

​Traveling, as many people would agree, is the truest test of friendship. Being friends with someone is one thing, but traveling with them? An entirely different story.

Traveling with someone really boils your friendship down to the bare bones of how similar you really are: in life, in ideals, in culture.

Many people are not so lucky to have  amazing travel companions, because it really is tough to find friends who travels the same way you do. But when you travel with your best friends and find that it works, you have truly found the best kind of friendship that can exist. If you can travel with someone, you have seriously hit the jackpot !

Thanks for the company out there.

Traveling with your best friends is different than traveling with simple acquaintance.

Best friends are people you know inside and out, people whose history you are familiar with, and people  who knows you just as well . Traveling with your best friends will be tough at times, but, because you both know each other so well, it is much easier to make it work.
Here are a few things that will inevitably happen when you have found that amazing bond of travel friendship on a voyage with your very best friends.

You have a million inside jokes.

You’ve been through many hilarious moments and strange mishaps being together so much, and many of these evolve into hilarious jokes that only you understand. You can say a single word to each other and start laughing uncontrollably, or understand each other with a simple abbreviation or hand signal. You get to a point that you even sound to others like you are speaking a completely different inside-joke comprised language. You just get each other like that.

Although you may be welcoming, you sometimes seem exclusive because of the sheer amount of inside jokes you have.

You meet up with other travelers often, and become friends with many on the road. But no matter who you’re hanging out with, you still have so much more in common with each other after traveling together. While in a group you might crack an inside joke or think of a funny memory you had together, and people will obviously feel a bit awkward when you two burst out laughing and they have no idea why. You don’t mean to do this, it just… happens. You can’t help how hilarious it was the other day when one of you slipped off their bed,or how you got high & wasted the other night  or how funny that selfie you took was. You will often try and explain the moment to others, but, you kinda had to be there.

You take killer Instagram photos of each other.

You know what each other wants in a photo, and aren’t afraid to make them retake it until they get it right. You guys are so close you can easily tell them to go back and retake it. You have taken some awesome photos of each other and always give each other credit. You’re basically a little photography team working to get each others’ perfect travel shots. Which you, of course, do.
People know you as travel buddies and nickname you as such.

“Oh look, “it’s the Boys.”  “Here come the “Boys.” “Let’s wait for the Boys”

People tend to know you as where you come from, and people get confused when they only see one of you because you’re always a package deal. But usually the other one of you is just in the shower or bathroom, because it starts to be weird being apart for too long!You get low key separation anxiety when apart for too long.

If one of you has to sit in a different side of the car, bus, you weirdly start to miss each other. If one of you goes to the shop or bathroom or basically does anything different than the other of you, you feel slightly… incomplete. Like the other half of you is missing. You have to act more normal because you are alone and can’t have the continuous ridiculous dialogue that you are used to having together at all times. It’s like a little sigh of relief when you are reunited again, and you go straight back to your hilarious behavior right away.

You encourage each other.

You become each others number one fan in everything you do.

Traveling by definition is largely about facing fears, challenging yourself, and stepping out of your comfort zone. When you are traveling with your best friends, you help each other tackle these fears and challenges by being each others’ number one cheerleaders. You grow by helping each other grow, and encourage each other every step of the way.

You learn from each other.

Whatever your differences may be, you will learn from each others’ ways. The slower one may learn quickness, while the faster one may learn patience. The shy one may learn to be outgoing, while the extrovert may learn to sometimes pause and step back to take in the moment. The reserved one may learn to be more brave, while the adventurous one may learn that it’s important to be careful. Whatever it is, you can both learn from each other’s mannerisms and predispositions, and you get to know each others’ ways more and more while traveling.

You step out of your comfort zone together.

“Want to try eating something new ?”

“Want to go swimming ?”

“Want to go camping, or adventuring into a local village?”

“… I’ll do it if you do it.”

When traveling with your best friends, you feed off each other and push each other.

 If one of you is game for something, chances are the other will be too with just a little bit of convincing. This goes for anything from trying a questionable local food to putting yourself out there to try to interact with locals. With your best friends, you feel more comfortable with the uncomfortable. You will always experience things together, because together, more is always possible.
You understand each other on a much deeper level.

When you travel with someone, you really get to know them inside and out.

When you are already best friends, this extends even more. You know what each other loves and hates, you know each other’s moods, you know what each other would want to eat, you even know the different types of ways each other acts and each other’s type in the opposite sex. You know when to leave each other alone and when to talk. You go through a lot trying to navigate from place to place, find accomodation and transportation, and being together 24/7, and you learn how to get through things together. You really just get to know each other so incredibly well when traveling together, which strengthens your friendship so much.

You realize, the longer you travel, that you are becoming more and more similar. It’s like your souls are syncing up or something.

It can be strange at times. You become more and more on the same page, always feeling the same vibes. You both want to go out, or you both don’t. You both want a cup of tea,coffee or juice, or you all want an ice cream. You both want to exercise, or be lazy indoors .

Sometimes you will weirdly put on similar outfits without realizing it.

 It sounds strange but it really happens! It’s weird yet amazing to have a nice little travel souls emerge after a while traveling with your best friends.

You start saying the same things.

You’ll notice, if you travel together long enough, that you super creepily start to occasionally finish each other’s sentences or say the same things at the same time. When you spend so much time together your slang, terminology, and even tiny little vocal inflections start to evolve together until you guys literally say the same obscure words, speak in similar ways, sometimes laugh the same, and in extreme cases even say the exact same things, at the same times. Maybe you will both respond the same way to someone’s question, or react the same way to a joke. It’s weird. It’s creepy. But deep down, it’s love. Deep soul friendly love.

Your slang is exactly the same.

Similar to above, you will both start using the same words. You will hear each other’s different slang and start using it yourself. If either of you had certain words that you tended to say before your trip, you will both start to adopt each others’ words until you both say the same strange things together. It’s kinda like you form your own language. People might think it’s weird, but in reality, it is awesome. And you and your friends know it even if others don’t! 😛
You friendship is overall taken to the next level.

When you’re traveling with your best friends, eventually there is absolutely nothing held back between you.

You know everything about each other and are not ashamed of anything in front of each other, whether this means using the toilet, changing, or doing literally anything. Everything is out on the table here, and the connection that strengthens as a result of this is incredible. You will always be close, and will always be able to fondly remember moments from your travels together as you plan for your next trip. 

Because friends who travel together, STAY together— it’s a fact.

I’m not entirely sure how to put this experience into words.The word ‘spectacular’ doesn’t seem to do the Ngong Hills justice – nor does ‘breathtaking’ but they are the nearest I can conjure up to even begin to describe the beauty of this place No words to decribe the immensity.

It’s so beautiful there are no words adequate to describe this part of Kenya. This Maasai land offers an amazing view of the whole land from a privileged height. The Hills are so scenic and a famous landmark of Kenya.

If you love nature this is the place to go ! My friends and I climbed the Hills and it isn’t easy depending on which side you climbed, it is worth the views. Great atmosphere. It is fun for young kids, teenagers, friends and lovers.

Kajiado Town

Ngong Hills is where you go when you want peace and quiet this is the “get away” from the city buzz of Nairobi, where you can sit the whole day just recharging as you explore the beauty of Nature. Come here for some peace & quite.

It is good for getting out of the city, and a place where walking in the open air on the hilltops is a pleasure. Ngong hills have that air of romance, even with the windmills ! The view towards the Rift Valley in one direction, and back across the city of Nairobi in the other has a grandeur about it.

Ngong Hills are one of the best places from which to see the skyline of Nairobi, and to watch the splendour of the Great Rift Valley below (make sure you don’t roll down the hill, its a long way down). It is definitely a place to visit when you are in Nairobi. Most people picnic at the top, believe me, you will be glad you brought some food along !

The views and breeze from the top are to die for , so don’t leave your camera /phone behind. Carry enough water and some snacks to keep your energy levels in check. Dress comfortably and good sport shoes for the day long hike. You will find many hikers and marathon runners practising on high altitude training.

It is a lovely place to relax unwind and offcourse work out alittle, The hick up is tiring but the view is worth it. Fresh air and a greenery all over and for those who love taking pictures the scenery is breath taking for photo addicts. Photographer’s Heaven due to the spectacular views of Nairobi.

Take the time to go on an excursion and a hike to the Ngong Hills. Not only is the scenery and the hike spectacular, the entire experience is memorable.

From high up above you see the vastness of the country and the beauty of it. If you are keen you will even get a snick peak at Nairobi which looks so tiny, you’ll have a hard time locating it.

A little tip – allow yourself plenty of time all day if time is available to you. Because you certainly will not want to rush away from here. You can take the high or low road up the hills, but strenuous or more gentle the end result is the same !

The most amazing views over the Rift Valley. You can simply see for miles. It makes you feel as if you are looking into eternity.

Yes we had a very rainy day – which undoubtedly enhanced the experience – but really was the most memorable of days. You can walk to your hearts content and spend hours just gazing at the sheer, raw, natural beauty of Kenya.

There’s nothing like bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.

Couple of tips:

1. I wouldn’t come here alone – it would be unwise.
2. Basic Fitness level is necessary .
3. Don’t forget a camera to capture moments .
4. It is more fun with friends or family.
5. Carry enough snacks and water to hydrate.
6. Dress warmly – it gets extremely cold in the evening.

But with the normal common sense you will have the most amazing day – and memories that will stay with you forever.

I always enjoy going to the Hills for the few times I have gone. My mind usually switches to adventure mode and its here that I feel free than anywhere else in the world. The clean fresh air is breath taking.Almost feels like a soul cleanse. The green hills and the distant valley is a valuable sight that has a place in my heart.♥ It’s beautiful.♥ My soul must have been born here.

The experience is one no enough words can explain until you personally go for the climb. The view is one out of this world.
The longest, most tiring and amazing experience. I regained my legs after a day. Well spent experience.

Thank you guys for the company out there.

We loved ♡ and would love to go again & again.

Adventure of life within a City.

I am a 21 year old environmental educator on the run of becoming all that I can in the time I have.

A few years ago, I embarked on a journey filled with nature discoveries, healthy habits , and a passion for education stronger than I’ve ever had.

Learning what to do to become a better person have always interested me.

1)One of my passion is to know a little about everything in order to gain the capability of forming my own opinion so others won’t have to do it for me.

2)Another passion that was buried deep inside finally came to the surface and allowed me to see the adventurous side of me.

3)Another passion is environmental conservation and making planet earth a better place.

Kenya🇰🇪is your country. Cherish these natural wonders, cherish the natural resources, cherish the history and romance as a sacred heritage, for your children and your children’s children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests skin your country of its beauty, its riches or its romance.

I am on a journey to see the world  and do things outside my comfort zone.

I will write all about it along the way.